Anxiety, Depression, Emotions, Mental Health, Poetry

Anxiety Attacks

One of the worst places to have an anxiety attack, is in the shower.

Being overcome by emotion when the water is running, & vent fan is on…

Knowing that while you’re crying & hyperventilating alone on the shower floor, clutching your chest because it’s tight & you can’t breathe, that everyone in your home cannot hear you.

You can’t yell for help because you’re hyperventilating so much that you’re having trouble breathing. You can’t stand up and walk out the shower and bathroom because you’re body is too weak to move.

So you have to sit there, drenched under the falling water, clutching your chest while you try to calm yourself into normal breathing…

You have to help yourself up even though you’re shaking & weak & finish washing yourself off before finally being able to get out.

You’re able to breathe a bit easier now as you get dressed & look at your reflection in the mirror, that stares back at you with swollen, puffy eyes.

You climb into bed without saying a word because at this point you’re spent and maybe just a bit embarrassed to be vulnerable again, in order to tell someone what just happened…

as well as a little annoyed that you couldn’t be heard over the vent & shower, while your family was in another room.

So you decide to continue going through it alone & just go to sleep…

I guess it’s ok though right? Although you were just vulnerable on the shower floor, you were strong enough to pull yourself out of an anxiety attack, & most of us know how incredibly hard that can be.

-Jen, xo

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