Why Am I Feeling This Way?

Goodness, I am feeling so much anxiety right now. My chest hurts, heart pounding and I feel like crying.

Why?

That’s just it…I’m not too sure. Maybe it’s my mensuration that decided to finally show itself, or just one of those days where I think I’m good, just to end up feeling like I do now….

I can’t explain just how much I hate feeling this way. How much I hate having to smile through these emotions. Having to put on a brave face for my kids, to not bring the mood down.

Having a dance party in my kitchen to make my little one smile, while I want to cry…

Ugh I hate days like these.

I’m wondering if it’s the fact that I’m thinking of family. Missing family? Overthinking past issues? Thinking too much into the future? Trying to make plans during a pandemic? Who the hell knows?! But I want the pounding in my chest to stop…

Please just stop.

-Jen, xo