Anxiety, Depression, Emotions, Improvement, Love, Mental Health, Mothers

UPDATE: It’s been a while

The Anxiety Chronicles

Hi guys!

I know I’ve been off wordpress for a long time now. Life has just been pretty busy! I started school back in August. Before classes started, I found out I was pregnant! Guys it’s taken my husband and I 5 long years of trying for baby #2, so we were beyond shocked! Then I was asked to become a secretary in church…so I’ve been pretty busy.

I’m on my last 2 weeks of the semester and I cannot wait to finish! I am 4 months pregnant now and I’m just so exhausted! I will be taking next semester off being that I am due to give birth in April…I don’t want to give birth in class! lol I can barely stay awake now, I can’t imagine being 8-9 months pregnant and in school. So I will take a semester or 2 off once the baby is here for sure. 

On top of that, I have my 7 year old son to take care of, and I help out in his classroom when needed and I go on field trips as well. I take care of our home and I am just trying to do all of this without feeling like I’m not doing enough. No matter how much I do, I realize I don’t ever give myself enough credit. I know I’m pregnant and tired, but yet I’m hard on myself when I’m too tired to wash clothes or take my son outside to play. I get my homework done before it’s due, but I still feel lazy because I wait until the day assignments are due, to do them….

On top of that I’ve been really anxious about giving birth in a new state. You all remember, I moved to Fl, from NJ last year. I’m feeling like it’s so much more difficult for me to be active out here in Fl, bc I have to drive everywhere. Then I feel lonely because the majority of my family is in NY and NJ-I’m just so grateful I have a sister here who lives 15 min away! I don’t know what I would do if she wasn’t here! I’ve been out here for a year and half and I still get my moments of depression and sadness. I’ve been really anxious as well. Maybe its the extra hormones, i don’t know, but its making me more exhausted. Some days I don’t want to do anything. Some days I cry a lot. Other days’s I’m really cranky because of how exhausted I am from all the thoughts running in my head.

It’s been a lot to deal with emotionally and physically. I was telling my husband I think I need to start looking into finding a therapist out here, so I have someone to speak to about the nonsense happening in my head. I want new ways of dealing and coping with my anxiety…I don’t want to be a burden to my family, constantly speaking about the same things over and over, because it doesn’t leave my head. I know how tiring it can be to hear the same thing over and over and not have any idea how to help out or what to do. So I do need to push myself in finding a new therapist and learning new coping techniques for myself. 

Another thing I want to do is to start meditating again and possibly doing prenatal yoga. I’m almost 36 years old and pregnant, so I’m noticing the difference in my body. I’m more tired and achy. I want to be an active pregnant woman, like I was with my first son! So there is a lot I want to do to better myself and find peace of mind. The first thing I wanted to do though was update you all on what’s been going on! I want to blog more often, because for me, writing is very helpful and therapeutic! So hopefully I can get all this accomplished and while doing so, give myself credit for the things I actually am doing and the things I’m dealing with on a regular basis. I am happy and want my mind to recognize this and want my self doubt to just GO AWAY! 

That is all for now! I hope everyone is doing well.

-Jen, xo

Published by The Anxiety Chronicles

Throughout the years, I have suffered with anxiety, but it wasn't until 2013, that I decided to get help for it. I started seeing a therapist and learning so much about myself and the reasoning behind my anxieties. Because of therapy and being so open, I decided to blog about it. I figured, if I could go through so many years hiding behind a facade, why not write about my true self and what I am learning to overcome it. If I can help someone else in this world, then I don't mind at all being open about my experiences. I will write about my anxieties, my triumphs, my failures, and just my over all emotions through my days. Please follow or share. Hopefully someone can relate to this blog and find a way to get help.

6 thoughts on “UPDATE: It’s been a while”

  1. Jen, my husband and I moved to FL from NJ six years ago, primarily due to finances (I was laid off and was bringing in the bigger salary). I’ve recently moved back to NJ, my husband is staying in FL and we’re getting together for about a week approximately every six weeks.
    Florida is different; remember, it’s the south. People are very nice, but the pace is slower and the level of customer service is sometimes “whatever it is, is”. During the winter when the Snowbirds come down, if you live in a targeted area, you won’t recognize it. There are more people shopping in your stores, parking in your spaces, eating in your restaurants, and every other person seems to be bringing their dog(s) with them EVERYwhere.
    You need to recognize the differences – you are fortunate to have a sister nearby. I had no family, my children and close friends were all up north, so that, combined with the different pace of living made for many, many anxious months for me. I adapted – to an extant, I adjusted – to an extant, but never enough in those six years to feel like I was home.
    This won’t necessarily happen to you, but I wish I had known some of this before we moved.
    Wonderful things about Florida? The weather before and after the horrifying heat of summer descends.
    The Florida skies, clouds, clarity of the night skies.
    Close proximity to most of the amazing cities, sites, parks and museums throughout the state, including Orlando and Cape Canaveral and the Kennedy Space Center.
    At least in Palm Beach County, the libraries!
    I wish you much success and lots of serendipity in finding your place in Florida. For every one of me, like me that couldn’t adapt, I am sure there are 5-10 peop,e who love living there.
    C

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! We moved here because of my husbands work. It’s interesting though because we have visited Fl for the past 10 years, every single year. We spoke about moving here in a couple years because we hated the cold weather and the living expenses in NJ. But us moving here happened much quicker then either of us expected. We love the weather and quietness, I just miss being so close to Manhattan and the art scene was so much better in NYC. Everyone was just a bus stop, train ride or bridge away! We do not feel like we’re home because it’s been leas then 2 years here, but we love it for our son. He can do so much out here and it is calmer then where we lived. We are season pass holders to Disney and Kennedy Space center so at least there is that. Aside from those places there isn’t much to do! lol except when it’s really hot, we do head to the beach a lot and we love that. It will definitely take time to adjust completely but NY will always be home to us. Not matter how long we live in Fl. And yes I’m so grateful to have family near by me. I can’t imagine having no one at all.
      Thanks again for your response!

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  3. Congratulations Jen! I’m happy for you. My wife and I were 36 when she got pregnant (1st one too!), so I know it’s not a walk in the park. Come to think of it, a walk in the park isn’t a walk in the park!
    Anyhow, I just wish you and your family all the very best and more strength to you! Hugs!

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