I know I haven’t been posting much lately. I’ve been really overwhelmed with school. I’m finding that this semester in school, I’m starting to question myself and worry about whether I can pass these classes or not. I’m taking two mandatory Social Work classes and an online Latinos class. The amount of reading that needs to be done for each of these classes is excessive! I feel like I’m having a difficult time retaining the information I’m reading and also having a difficult time catching up on all the reading. I’ve noticed when I have a lot to do and feel overwhelmed, my anxiety sky rockets and I end up not reading or waiting until the last minute to get things done. In the mind set of anxiety: “If I don’t do it, I won’t fail…” Well, I know this isn’t correct. So as stated below, when I feel like quitting, I need to think about why I started. I want to be a social worker. I want to help people. I need to remind myself that I have gone through much worse in life and I got through that, so what are a couple of classes right? I guess this semester threw me off because I never realized how much theoretical talk is involved! I’ve always had a hard time retaining information. I learn a bit slower then other people, and that’s fine, just as long as I learn right? So I’m trying to remain positive and keep faith that I will get through these classes and end the semester with an abundance of knowledge and less anxiety.
When I spoke to my therapist about these overwhelming feelings, she reminded me of how intelligent I am and how I have come this far in life. She reminded me that I graduated from community college 12 years ago. I have a degree and that I am in kind of an accelerated process with school at the moment. Also because I am a stay at home mother and wife, it’s more difficult for me to get things done in a timely fashion. So me being overwhelmed is normal but that I can definitely get through this, I just need better study habits. We spent the session speaking about different study techniques and her reassuring me that many other people feel the same way, it’s just trying to find study habits that work best for me. I have to admit, every time she reminds me that I am an intelligent person, I have to fight to urge to doubt her. Being smart and intelligent as oppose to feeling it, is difficult. Deep down I know I am intelligent, but my self esteem still needs a boost. I am trying to remain positive and strong. I was accepted into the social work program for a reason. I was put on this earth to help people. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.
So, that’s what’s been going on with me…
How have all of you guys been?
“She picked up the pieces of her life & created something beautiful. From that day forth, she shone like the sun & changed the definition of broken.” -Unknown