Had you told me years ago, that friendships weren’t forever, I wouldn’t have believed you. How could such a close bond be broken? We tell each other everything. This is the person I trust with my life. No way this will end…
Sadly, they do end. Most of the time my friendships have ended with no mention as to why. One minute we are talking every day, the next, nothing. So many times I’ve felt that I must have done something wrong. What is wrong with me, that friends keep leaving. Now as an adult, I’ve realized that I didn’t do anything wrong. As people, especially as adults, we all grow and evolve. We start to like different things; different scenes. Maybe we go our own way because we no longer need each other. But even if we grow apart as friends, we should still be kind, respectful & mindful.
One friendship that has ended without a word as to why, still has me wondering though. We were really close. I was always there for that person. They were going through tough times, feeling depressed and confused. I was there to help them through it. This person, with time, became stronger and more independent. I was so happy and proud. We spoke all the time. Text messages, phone calls, emails & meet ups. Even with me having a child, we were able to get together constantly. Then out of the blue, they stopped returning my emails, phone calls and text messages. After months of me wondering, I decided to ask again: “Did I do something wrong? We haven’t spoken in months. I email you & call you but you don’t respond back to me”. The response I recieved surprised me and upset me. They told me “you did nothing wrong. I’ve been so busy, I haven’t noticed so many months passed by”. Really?! How can you be so close to someone and not realize that months have gone by without a word or a visit. I called BS on that response and moved on.
It hurt that I was always there for them and when I needed them the most, they could care less. No birthday wishes or calls. No get well soon after an important surgery. No questions about my son or family. It was very hard on me to lose this friendship into thin air. Unfortunately, this is life. I’ve realized that some people only want or need you when they are in despair. When they feel they have no one. Once they are on their feet and happy, they move on. Is this person happy now? It seems so. And I’m glad. I just dislike the lack of care and lack of support I recieved after they became happy. Sure, we all grow as individuals, but don’t forget about the people who were there for you. Don’t use someone until you are able to hold your own, then move on without a single word or thought. It’s just wrong.
– Jennie G