Two weeks ago I had my last session with Dr. B. She was the first therapist I ever had. I went into that session feeling OK, until I sat there and started speaking to her and just broke down crying. I didn’t realize how difficult a last session would be. She told me it was normal to feel sad, or bothered by it. She said a lot of patients never realize it until the day actually arrives. What was sadder for me was that there is still so much I need to work on and figure out about myself, and she will no longer be the one to encourage me or give me advice.
She had become such an important person in my life. She helped me through so many personal issues. He helped me become stronger, more independent and more outspoken. She allowed me to revel in emotions I use to consider bad. She helped me realize that being angry is perfectly fine. Feeling disappointed or hurt is totally OK. I have every right to let myself feel these emotions and there is nothing wrong with letting people see those sides of me as well. As long as I am not consumed by anger or hurt, there is nothing wrong with being in that moment, until it passes. She also helped me realize that I am loved by everyone in my life, even if they don’t always show it. Everyone is different and everyone has something going on in their lives. So I should not take something personal because I may feel I get treated differently. I just need to see that not everyone knows how to deal with their issues and problems, so they stay in their heads and focus on themselves, but it doesn’t mean they love or care for me any less. I have learned that there is more to be then being a house wife and mother. I have learned that I have a right to be upset when I’m not seen as an individual and always seen in someone’s shadow. There is no need for me to keep all of these emotions in. That is what causes anxiety and depression.
Well, Dr. B, I am no longer hiding, because of you. I know I am a strong person. I understand that people may come off as selfish and withdrawn, but it’s just the way THEY deal with their problems. I have learned to not take things as personal anymore. I have learned that I need time for myself. I need to remember that I am a woman. I am a person with personal interests, goals and achievements. I am strong. Yes, I have learned all of this about myself in the months I had with Dr. B. I know I still have a lot more work to do, to better myself, but I am so grateful to be where I am today. Dr. B will always be a part of me. I can’t say thank you enough for showing me the light. For making me realize i’m not crazy for the thoughts and emotions I’ve had and for allowing me to see when I was wrong and what I should work on.
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
with love & much appreciation,